Posts Tagged ‘Top Three’

Dear Tom Hiddleston,

Oh, hey! So … I didn’t see you there, what with all the other “it” guys. It’s hard to notice Loki with Thor and Iron Man and Hulk around.

But yeah, then “Crimson Peak” happened. And um … wow. So, I had to, well, write this letter.

When you as Baronet Sharpe looked at Edith (Mia Wasikowska) for the first time, I was all, “Hey, his eyes are kind of … piercing.”

Then when you leaned her back in the attic with a powerful kiss, I thought, “Oh. My!”

And then when you two consummated your marriage — your Victorian man breeches slipping down to expose a delectable derrière, I had to fan myself with my empty nacho tray.

So, yeah.

I’m not the only one who got the vapors. Bustle writers did too.

I just wanted to say thanks for opening up the field for me. Clearly I was loitering too long in Johnny Depp/Blake Shelton land.

Love and hot gothic romance kisses,


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More beefcake? Yes, please.

Dear Joe Manganiello,

I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry that I didn’t notice you earlier. I guess I was preoccupied. But thanks to Entertainment Weekly‘s relentless coverage of “Magic Mike” and “True Blood,” I’m now paying attention. Close attention.

Hello, Joe!

I see from IMDb that you’ve been working for some time. Unfortunately for me, I don’t watch “One Tree Hill,” “How I Met Your Mother” and “True Blood.” Eddie is the “True Blood” fan in the family. “Who’s Eddie?” you ask. My husband. Yes, I’m married — married, but not dead. (He’s hot too, by the way. I have good taste.)

Anyway, thank you for spending countless hours at the gym to make yourself memorable. Thank you for constantly removing your shirt to show off the results of your hard work. And thank you for wearing leather and other supple fabrics. And crawling around in the woods.

Here’s to a new season of “True Blood” (starting tomorrow) and to the forthcoming “Magic Mike” (June 29). I’ll be paying attention from now on.

Love and kisses,

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